Freedom

I wish I was far far away. So far away that I could never come back. And to be quite frank I wouldn't miss any of it. I'd be glad to be gone. I decided that today is good day to put up this poem I wrote awhile ago. So here it is. I'll continue after it.

Let the Sky Cry for Me

I wish it would rain, I wish the sky would cry
Cry and cry like the thousands of tears I have shed
For I can't cry anymore, yet I still feel the pain
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

Let it rain across all the lands, all the people, all the nations
The world needs to know, needs to care that I suffer
For no one notices, and I hurt alone
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

I wish the rain would drown the world
Drown the world as I drown in my sorrow
For while the world keeps on spinning, I can't even move
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

Let it rain and rain and rain forever
Let the sun hide its face for all of time
For if the sun shines again, it would mean life goes on
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

I wish the rain would scour the land of happiness
If no one ever smiles again then the world is just
For as they live in their sugary sweet world, I die
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

Let the rain melt my soul away, dissolve it into nothing
Melt it away with all the emotions it holds
For I never want to feel another feelings again
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

I wish I had never met you, seen you, never heard your name
I wish the rain would bear away the scars you left on my heart
For you are the cause of this tempest of agony within me
So let it rain, Let the sky cry for me

Sad isn't it. I wrote this after I decided that Jake wasn't worth it anymore. When I realized that I was never going to be with and that he really didn't care. I wish I were in that boat up there, Floating along without a care in the world. I can remember when the most I had to worry about was when recess was. I miss it. I miss the carefree freedom of children, so innocent, so unaware for how utterly screwed up their lives will get. I cried for hours last night. Not because my mother refused to let me go to the Drama cast party. Not because she was punishing me for falling asleep. No, I cried because I finally realized something. How alone I feel sometimes. How I stare up at the moon on clear nights wishing for someone to be standing there beside me. Someone to hold me, love me, care for me. I really don't care how much people say, oh stop whiningng you'll have someone someday. I'm so sick of hearing that especially from people who have someone. They don't know what it's like to watch all the happy couples at dances wishing you were one of those smiling contented faces. They don't understand how much it hurts to see your friends slowly desert you one by one, while they spend their time wittheirer boyfriends and their other friends with boyfriends. They aren't always the three wheel, feeling so awkward and out of place. My life is not bad, that's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is that I look out into the sky at night and I can't help but ask: God, where is he? Where is the guy who is supposed to be making me happier?